Monkeytron

Does a blog really die

2010-02-17T07:54:00.002-06:00

Or can they come back?

R.I.P

2008-05-31T19:49:00.002-06:00

I must lay this blog to rest. After a couple of years blogging on monkeytron, I find it more of an after thought than a real blog anymore. Other things in life take priority now. It really isn't even that. It is more related to the things I want to blog about, I feel like I no longer can do that here. It was a good blog and I felt I have left a few small contributions to the progression of blogging. Monkeytron Sightings, Middle Finger Monday, and of course, WTF Fridays. So for now, Monkeytron is going underground. Another blog will be started, but I will leave no direction to get there. In the mean time....Fuck those fuckers

2008-05-29T17:11:00.000-06:00

Do cabs have dice in the mirror?

2008-05-21T21:41:00.002-06:00

Hypothesis: They do

Procedure: I whistled for a cab

Result: When it came near the license plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror

Conclusion: Yo holmes to Bel Aire

Back to the racing

2008-05-19T17:15:00.002-06:00

First race of the year coming up. Just registered for the L'Alpe Bl'Huez I never thought I would do a time trial not on my time trial bike.

Bloody as hell or burnt to a crisp?

2008-05-05T22:06:00.002-06:00

The latter for me. Seems to be that I forgot to put on some sunblock on the back of my left calf. Sunday was super nice so I went out for a 5 hour ride with boB, Ralph, and a couple of the Toms. The ride went well. My climbing skills are coming along, the rollers are flowing good. I just need to get some speed for the Tuesday night sufferfest. Of which, I will miss again. The sunburn is very bad and want to keep it covered up for another day.

Lesson learned

2008-05-02T18:35:00.002-06:00

There is nothing more scary than a rabid raccoon on fire running your way spitting flames at your feet.

Star Wars

2008-04-30T21:30:00.001-06:00

Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No! I am your father!"

Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."

Darth Vader: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

Luke: "NO!"

Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"

Luke: "Threepio?"

Darth Vader: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."

Luke: "No."

Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."

Luke: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

Darth Vader: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

Luke: "Well, it's not my fault."

Darth Vader: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith .. waahhh wahhh!'"

Luke: "Shut up."

Darth Vader: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"

Luke: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

Darth Vader: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

Darth Vader: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine."

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: "And get a haircut!"

Santa

2008-04-26T19:01:00.000-06:00

All you had to do was pay what you owe

Mario bros

2008-04-23T20:31:00.001-06:00

burnin'

2008-04-20T20:16:00.001-06:00

Took the BH on its maiden voyage today. It rides super good. I also got my first sunburn of the year.

Hot Wheels

2008-04-11T16:23:00.004-06:00

Civil disobedience

2008-04-05T08:09:00.001-06:00

Way to go kids:

WESTBY, Wis. — In an effort to take a stand against what some students believe is poor quality food in the Westby Area School District, students at the middle school began boycotting the lunch program this week.

Students in seventh and eighth grade brought their own lunches to school instead of ordering off the district’s lunch menu, leaving large quantities of prepared food that had to be thrown away.
By Friday, only one student in seventh and eighth grade and 35 students in fifth and sixth grade purchased their lunch from the school. Before the boycott, the middle school houses, which has 220 students, typically served 160 meals each day at cost of about $2 per student.

Westby Middle School Principal Clarice Nestingen said Friday was the end of the third quarter and was not a good day to judge lunch numbers because many students eat at home because of early dismissal.

School administrators say they’re looking for a solution that would satisfy students while still falling within food service program regulations.

District Administrator Michael Murphy said students, staff and parents need an education on how the food service program must adhere to strict government guidelines, especially in a school district such as Westby, which relies heavily on government subsidies to survive.

Changing up the quiver

2008-04-01T19:33:00.002-06:00

Removing the R3 and adding a BH Connect.

WTF?

2008-03-29T19:06:00.003-06:00

Here is a popular image. At its core, it is one of the most read comics on Sunday morning. While most like to simply enjoy it, others like to manipulate it in order to push their own agenda. Often times it tells the world that Chevy is better than Ford. Other times they let the world know that their favorite NASCAR driver is better than yours. Then there are those images like the one. Just because Calvin is taking a piss on Iraq, doesn't mean we are going to end the war over there. It also doesn't mean we are going to stop importing foreign oil. What it does is tell us that you are a douche bag, and the fact that you have this sticker on your piece of shit rusted out '80's Chevy Silverado that gets 10 miles a gallon, makes you a moron.

RD in 09

2008-03-26T19:22:00.001-06:00

Will be the RD for a crit to be held downtown in La Crosse. Expect lots of $$ and prizes, fast riders, and a sweet course. More details to come.

http://www.lacrossefitnessfestival.com/

Guidelines

2008-03-23T20:02:00.001-06:00

WTF

2008-03-19T17:45:00.001-06:00

Hostile

2008-03-18T19:29:00.000-06:00

Needless to say I have some unusual habits, yet all these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile.

fence

2008-03-15T22:44:00.002-06:00

2008-03-10T21:12:00.000-06:00

CUPERTINO, Calif. -- The Santa Clara County Sheriff's office Monday identified the deputy driving the patrol car that collided with three bicyclists on Sunday in the Cupertino hills, killing two of them, as James Council.

Council, 27, has been a sheriff's deputy for approximately 18 months. He is assigned to the West Valley Patrol Division. On Sunday he began his shift at 6 a.m. and before the accident was scheduled to work until 6:30 p.m. He is currently on paid administrative leave while the accident is being investigated, according to sheriff's office spokesman Don Morrissey.

Authorities said that at approximately 10:25 A.M., Council was traveling northbound on Stevens Canyon Road near Montebello Road in Cupertino when his vehicle struck the bicyclists who were traveling southbound on Stevens Canyon Road, according to the sheriff's office.

Following the crash, Council exited his vehicle, rendered aid and requested emergency medical assistance, county officials reported.

Tragically, one of the bicyclists died at the scene. A second bicyclist was transported via Life Flight to Stanford Medical Center for treatment and died there.

The California Highway Patrol has launched an investigation into the incident.

Witnesses have told police they overheard Council admit to possibly falling asleep at the wheel shortly before the 10:25 a.m. Sunday crash. However, authorities were refusing to speculate what may have caused the accident.

"It's going to be a drawn-out comprehensive investigation," said Don Morrissey, a spokesman for the Sheriff's Department. "It's just a tragic incident. Obviously, it's going to have deep impacts on everybody involved, from the deputy to the victim's family, next of kin, family, friends, everybody like that."

The third bicyclist was taken to Stanford Medical Center with critical injuries, but has since been listed in stable condition, according to Morrissey.

Friends have identified the dead as 30-year-old Kristy Gough of Oakland and Matt Peterson, 29, of San Francisco. Gough competed professionally as a triathlete and only recently had begun to concentrate on cycling.

Peterson, member of the San Francisco-based Roaring Mouse Cycles racing team, had recently won a road racing event in downtown Merced.

The CHP has closed Stevens Canyon Road in both directions from Balboa Road to the entrance to the Stevens Creek Reservoir, Hoover said.

The California Highway Patrol is investigating the accident. The deputy will be placed on paid administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation.

Sign it

2008-03-09T18:25:00.000-06:00

http://www.petitiononline.com/bikether/petition.html

HillBama

2008-03-06T23:24:00.002-06:00

Both Hilldog and Bama say they are going to go after big oil. Tax them more, limit their profitability. I don't understand this concept? We want to limit what an American Company can do(drill and refine oil), and then replace loss production with oil from .....Chavez?

If they want to decrease foreign dependency on oil, why then do they propose we punish American sources of oil so we have to seek more foreign oil?

I guess Ms. Coulter is right. If democrats had brains they would be republicans

WTF?

2008-03-05T23:11:00.004-06:00

As I was cruising through the internet, a pop up alerted me that I need to update Quicktime. I decided I better do so. Typically I never read the agreement, but tonight for some reason I did. Take note of the mention of nuclear weapons.

Too much?

2008-03-04T11:50:00.002-06:00

Is there too much of a good thing? Not when it comes to riding a bike.

Be Active Be Happy

Movies

2008-03-02T21:06:00.002-06:00

A crazy phenomena happens once a week to me. I will be watching a random movie on TV and out of no where....BOOM! Christopher Walken shows up in the movie. And every time I say, "Holy sh*t, it's Christopher Walken"

Vegan Limerick

2008-03-01T15:17:00.000-06:00

A preoccupied vegan named Hugh
picked up the wrong sandwich to chew.
He took a big bite
before spitting, in fright,
"OMG, WTF, BBQ!"

Insurance

2008-02-25T21:29:00.005-06:00

Someone grilled me the other day about gambling. I started to explain that poker is not gambling. It is a game played against other players and there is no house advantage at the poker table. Then they comment that "the house never looses, they are making money off of you even in the poker room." I respond with "So I shouldn't play at a casino because no matter what, the house is making money off of me?" They responded with the predictable answer of "Yes" I then ask"Do you have insurance? House, health, life, auto?" Naturally they answered yes. Then STFU. Insurance companies have the biggest house advantage. They never pay out more than they take in--ever.

Stump 2

2008-02-23T22:13:00.003-06:00

It is time for a new direction for our country. It's time to let the lobbyist know they are no longer needed in Washington. I have a plan to change Washington, and I will be a voice for the American people.

Many have divided our country into Red and Blue States. This is a symbol of what is wrong with American. Red and blue are not just colors, the represent the bruised and damaged state of our union. It's time to elect in a different type of leader into the White House. I will change the tone on Capital Hill and will unite our country-- a country that has been torn apart by the current administration.

As I have traveled our great land and visited people from all walks of life, many have asked me what they can do to help. The answer is simple. Get out a cup, fill it with change and give it to me. I will take your change to Washington and spend it. But first, raise your cup high and drink the Kool-Aid

Stump speech

2008-02-21T15:05:00.004-06:00

I stand for change! A change in leadership! A change in policy! A change in the way things are done! But above all I need change. I need any change I can get, especially the change in your pocket.

The number of decisions you have to make needs to change. You can't make them on your own, you need me to do it for you, but I need your change to do it. There are people out there who have too much change, and I don't think they should have it. I need that change for the good of the people.

The nation's largest corporations are making a profit, and you are left with only the change in your pocket to pay for food, heat, and shelter. If you give me a chance, and your change, I will make change.

You know, others have talked about change for the last thirty years and have failed to do it. I have no experience in bringing in change, but if you give me yours, a change will occur.

KITT

2008-02-18T21:11:00.002-06:00

The Knight Foundation was resurrected last yesterday. The show started off good, turned to poo, and then finished strong the second hour. Way too many commercials, but you just got to love the show.

A classic

Raise your hand

2008-02-15T00:04:00.001-06:00

As posted on Be Active Be Happy

I was not a model student in grade school. Looking back now I realize that I was not very well behaved. Aside from the usual making fun of other kids and throwing rocks at the girls, I typically talked out of turn. When I was talking, I wasn't talking to the people who mattered rather I was just chatting with my friends.

There was a girl who sat next to me all through grade school and most of middle school. She was a nice girl and had special powers over the teachers. She always got her questions answered and most times got anything she wanted. She had this crazy concept that at the time I just could not grasp....she raised her hand. If she wanted to know why little Johnny got a gold star on his paper while she got a blue one, she would raise her hand and end up with a gold star. If she wanted to switch to chocolate milk after she already signed up for white milk for milk break, she would raise her hand, politely ask, and she would receive what she wanted.

We all talk about the state of cycling in our communities. We complain to our friends and family that not enough people ride their bikes, we complain that there are not enough bike lanes, and we complain that our employers do not have showers and lockers for those of us who want to ride to work.

So what do we need to do? Do what you can to help good organizations such as:

1world2wheels.org

bikesbelong.org

imba.com

bikeleague.org

However, the first thing we need to do is raise our hands. Go to local governmental meetings and raise your hand. Go to your company's management meetings and raise your hand. They will call on you and give you a chance to discuss your concerns and wants. Once the dialog is started, the above organizations can help you accomplish want we all want...to Be Active Be Happy.

RIP Forums

2008-02-12T19:33:00.001-06:00

A year ago, I launched happymutantmultisport.com. Initially it went very well. It got lots of use from people all over the country, had tons of hits, and more importantly help out people by answering training questions they had and promoted local events. However, it gradually got flooded and bogged down by spam. Specifically spammers from Russia--damn commie bastards. Anyway, time to file that little project on the back shelf and try again.

Enter BeActiveBeHappy. This site is being designed specifically for the La Crosse area. It's goal is the be "La Crosse’s stop for all things active" It is not meant to compete with other clubs and organizations, as this is neither. Our goal is to grow the pie, get more people active and get them in touch with the many great clubs and events that are already in place throughout the La Crosse area.

More details to come.

Red Flags

2008-02-11T15:31:00.000-06:00

I have been watching all the political debates for each party. Here are the two that scare me.

Barak Obama said the following about tax cuts: 'What we have had right now is a situation where we've cut taxes for people who don't need them.' I think it is great that everyone is rallying behind a guy who thinks he can decide how much money I need to have.

Hillary wants to garnish your wages if you don't enroll in her health care plan: "We will have an enforcement mechanism, whether it's that or it's some other mechanism through the tax system or automatic enrollments" She doesn't say you don't deserve your money, she just says the government will take it away and make purchases for you.

Ridin'

2008-02-09T11:30:00.000-06:00

BH Bob and I went out for a road ride today. So far this year, we have only missed one weekend ride. We have hit 3 rides for 30 or more miles so far. Tomorrow may have to be an indoor day since the wind chill is supposed to be -40. Next weekend will be a solid long ride weekend. Base...how low can you go?

Success

2008-02-02T16:26:00.001-06:00

Talent and heart gets you in the game, hard work gets you in the window, and team work will make you a success.

WTF Friday

2008-01-31T19:54:00.000-06:00

I am so glad we are not a direct democracy. How is it that Giuliani is currently polling in 3rd place in California polls for the Republican primary? He dropped out of the race two days ago, and is endorsing McCain. WTF?

Following Domino's Pizza

2008-01-27T11:04:00.001-06:00

Domino's Pizza has watched it's market share shrink over the last years. The Noid was a flop and clearly was the wrong direction for them to go. At it's roots Domino's Pizza is not known for great pizza, it's not even really good pizza. If you have been watching any amount of TV lately, will you have noticed that Domnino's is telling it's customers what they do offer. What they offer is hot pizza in 30 minutes. They are getting back to the foundation of what revolutionized the pizza industry. They may not be making the "30 minutes or free" guarantee, but they are asking "Do you have 30 minutes?"

How does this relate to Happy? We have experienced a few setbacks from taking the wrong direction. This has forced us to get back to our roots. A mutltisport team has been formed. The area's top triathletes, road cyclists, mountain bikers, and runner's are joining together to post impressive race results while promoting our sports and helping others along the way. Our first one of a kind event is scheduled for March 1 (details to come). Our many plans to help local charities, cycling advocacy, and our environment are taking form.

While we may not have gone to market with a full clothing line yet like we wanted to, you will see Happy and HM Gear throughout the country by July 1. The sale of those items will be fueled by what we do best--helping others and helping our sports.

Be Active Be Happy

Warning

2008-01-26T00:27:00.000-06:00

A look in the quiver

2008-01-19T09:42:00.000-06:00

As I look up against the West wall of my living room the usual suspects are there. My cycle cross, fixed gear, and mountain bikes all rest comfortable on their bike tree. The 650c Slingshot road bike anxiously awaits early season training rides. My Softride which is now painted in the Happy Mutant colors and is equipped with full Dura Ace and Hed wheels eagerly awaits to throw down at some multisport events. Last year I added the R3, which proved to be a great addition.

There is also a BMX bike on the porch, a touring bike lying against the couch, a couple of super old cruisers in the shed, and my old tri bike which I don't ride anymore. This spring I plan on doing a little cleaning and will be bidding farewell to those 5 bikes.

Since the stable will be missing 5 bikes, it is only logical to start restocking. Well, I have one of these sexy machines coming my way.

That is right sports fans, I will be rockin' a Trek Madone 5.5 Pro. OCLV Black Carbon, SRAM Force, Race Lite wheels, and other fast goodies to stomp all over EPU with on the group rides. Many thanks to Trek Bikes and Smith's Cycling and Fitness for hooking me up with this bike FOC.

Hardman Ride

2008-01-18T19:49:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday Bob and I went out for a Hardman Points ride. Here are a couple of pics from that ride. Tomorrow though is going to be below zero so not sure there will be a Hardman ride

Blond Star

2008-01-12T12:19:00.001-06:00

Man Law

2008-01-08T20:49:00.000-06:00

"A man shall urinate standing up unless also dropping logs. The ability to stand upright is what separates man from ape. To urinate in any other position is primitive. Flinging feces is also frowned upon."

She is on her way!

2008-01-06T11:48:00.001-06:00

Mail order brides.....

2007-12-24T16:37:00.000-06:00

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only America in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishes.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message, however, a significant number of electrons were inconvenienced. In case you have been offended, violated, traumatized, ignored or generally or specifically included/excluded in the above and wish to retaliate, please contact my attorney at:

Merry Christmas Mother effers.

2007 a look back

2007-12-23T19:16:00.000-06:00

We are getting close to list time. You know what I am talking about. Top 100 songs of 2007. Top 25 box office hits of '07. Top 50 baby names of the year. Oh, and don't forget all the personal list shyt that goes on. The best good times, the worse worst times. Yippie!! look at me I accomplished (insert something here that now one cares about). At the end of the year every one always looks back to take stock of their lives, you know what I say? Leave your livestock alone.

Santa is dead

2007-12-18T19:37:00.000-06:00

A professional assassin infiltrated a compound believed to be owned by Kris Kringle, AKA Santa Claus, and went on a killing spree as he killed Mr. Kringle and all his little helpers. When asked why he would want to kill all the elves, the suspect responded with "It's not me, why does everyone always think it me?"

Officials are reporting the assassin, Martin Q Blank, was hired by Jules Winnfield to retrieve his wallet and "Kill every last motherf*ckin' one of them little bastards". Mr. Winnfield alleges that St. Nick and his elves stole his favorite wallet. When asked what was so special about the wallet, he said the outside of it read "Bad Mother F*cker"

Many feel that Winnfield and his employer, Marcellus Wallace, both hired Blank for the job. Further research into the motive for the hit revealed that Kringle was caught giving Mrs. Wallace a foot massage last Christmas Eve. Kringle has gone on record as saying "I'm the foot f*ckin' master." when asked how is technique was, "Sh*t yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'."

The murder comes on the heals of a federal investigation after it was leaked out Santa was paying his elves below the federal minimum wage. He had always maintained many families leave tips for them during Christmas and they make a fair wage with the additional monies. Mr.Pink, who paid for Blank's bail with uncut diamonds, had the following to say "I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that elves are one of the many groups the government f*cks in the *ss on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullsh*t I got two words for that: learn to f*ckin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big f*ckin' surprise."

If you want a big tree house...

2007-12-16T10:47:00.000-06:00

You have to have a big tree trunks. In my case the tree house is a good cycling season next year. My tree trunks are base training. The larger the base, the better the season. Well, at this rate, my tree house is going to be the size of a bird house about 2 feet off the ground.

Time to get serious about this.

Hardman Points Card

2007-12-12T20:29:00.000-06:00

Get yours here:

http://belgianhardmanpoints.blogspot.com/

Two Bikes

2007-12-08T22:01:00.000-06:00

Lets say you have 2 bikes (I know, who only has two bikes? Just bear with me on this). What type of person are you?

Republican:
You have two bikes.
Your neighbor has none.
Too bad for them.

Capitalist (beginner):
You have two bikes.
You sell the one that will make you the most profit.

Capitalist (advanced):
You have two bikes.
You sell one bike and then lease it back to yourself.
You do an IPO on the 2nd bike.
You accidentally crash one of them.
You send out a press release to the analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
You become even richer.

Democrat:
You have two bikes.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.

Socialist:
You have two bikes.
The government takes one and gives it your neighbor.
You now ride bikes with your neighbor.

Communist:
You have two bikes.
The government takes both, and then builds a lot of bike routes.
You then wait your turn to ride your bikes.
The bike routes are full of potholes.

Taliban:
You own all the Trek Madones in Afghanistan (which happens to be two)
You don't ride them because they are made by Evil American Infidels.
You destroy the bikes, and tell the world that the U.S. blew them up when they dropped bombs on a children's hospital.

North Korean (Kim Jong Il):
You have two bikes.
You are too short to ride them.
You melt them down in your urinium enrichment plant and replace with kids bikes.
You hide them from Hans Blix.

Russian:
You have two bikes.
You drink a bunch of Vodka
You count again and now have 5 bikes.
You drink some more Vodka.
You know have 10 bikes.
The Mafia comes and takes away how many you actually have.

French:
You have two bikes.
You whine because you don't have three.
You take a nap because you are tired.

American:
You have two bikes.
You pay too much in taxes so you have to sell both.
The government then uses that money to buy a third bike for a French person, who doesn't ride it anyway because he is too tired.

On a more personal level

You are Mr. 24.
You have two bikes.
You ride both of them for 12 hours.
You don't stop and ride them for 12 more.

You are G-Ted
You have two bikes.
You have four 29" wheels.

You are Buchanandale
You have two bikes.
Both are Cannondales.

You are boB.
You have two bikes.
You ride both of them fast.

You are EPU
You have two bikes.
You find a naughty little girl.
You trade one for favors.

Candy

2007-12-05T21:03:00.000-06:00

Blind credibility

2007-12-05T02:36:00.000-06:00

Maybe is should be called perceived credibility. I just watched a TV commercial on The Perfect Pushup. It is basically two handles you grab on to while doing pushups. They let your arms move in their natural motion while you use them. During the ad spot, out of no where they say "Invented by a Navy SEAL". Sadly this statement will make them sell more product. People will/do perceive a Navy Seal as credible. However, are they really an expert on pushups? Who was this SEAL? What makes him a professional we should trust to make a perfect push up device.

This goes along with a customer encounter I personally hate. Too often a customer comes to the shop and eventually they decide to disagree with the shop employee and opt to say, "well, my friend says I need this". WTF? Who is your friend, and are you aware that chances are he comes into here to get his stuff worked on? But since he/she is a friend, they automatically blindly give them credibility.

For me, it comes down to this: WWBD (what would bob do)

Belgium Hardman points

2007-12-01T12:30:00.000-06:00

20 miles
18 degrees
12 mph wind
20 mph gusts
3" snow
10" possible
1 fixed gear

Process and Outcome

2007-11-29T19:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I went to a business to purchase some goods. I walked the floor, picked up what I needed, used the self check out lane, and was on my way. The outcome of this trip was a success, I purchased what I wanted. Earlier this afternoon I went to another local business to purchase some some of their wares. I entered the store, found my way to what I was in the market for, turned down a couple of additional suggested options, refused to give my name, declined to provide a phone number, and then paid for the goods. Again, outcome was a success--got what I wanted.

In both cases the outcome was the same. I wanted to purchase a few particular items, and that is what I did. However, the overall experience was much different. Unfortuneatly, today's experience was a more common representation of shopping experiences today. I understand the need for internal customer data collection. Phone numbers, addresses, buying habits, and email addy's make targeted marketing campaigns exponetialy more effective and because of this, nearly all businesses try to get as much information about their customers as possible.

Complicated check out procedures and/or over zealous sales associates often times confuse the difference between the "process" and the "outcome". Just because the customer gets what they want, doesn't mean they are happy and will come back. Sometimes if the process is right, but the outcome is wrong, you will still gain a customer.

An open letter to hot chicks

2007-11-29T00:52:00.000-06:00

Hi, my name is Tim, or Joe, or Sam. Though we haven't had a formal introduction I'm sure you know me, or at least what I represent here. I'm fat guys. I'm nerdy guys. I'm short guys, bald guys, dorky guys, spazzes, weirdos. Hobos, and guys without great jobs, cars, or clothes. I just wanted to take a second to talk to you about something very important to me, something it doesn't seem that you realize:

If you are physically attractive and dress in such a way to grab the attention of attractive males, you will also grab the attention of us unattractive males.

I'm sorry you're attractive though I am not. Believe me, it is probably as hard for me as it is for you. It isn't like I didn't sometimes wish I was some hot dude with whom you would make out at some shitty party with bad music. But just so you know, you were showing a lot of cleavage on the escalator at Barnes and Noble today and even though I wasn't the guy you wanted to attract, I like boobs just like he does. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not the creepy guys. I know how to look at some boobs without staring or showing up in your driveway, but if you catch me checking you out please don't look so pissed off. What if I knew some hot dude and was about to point him in your direction but changed my mind because now you seem like a bitch? Bet you didn't think of that while buying that short skirt did you?

Please don't think I'm asking you to become the chick in the bar who is a little ugly and past her prime who wants any and all guys to stare at her and have endless conversations about sexuality like that one time in college when she totally made out with some chick at a party and a whole bunch of frat guys got boners. I'm just saying, if you go fishing don't get mad if you catch a boot, or a tin can, or even maybe some seaweed.

STFU

2007-11-25T18:20:00.000-06:00

What bikes could have been

2007-11-20T19:18:00.000-06:00

I work with all sorts of technology. As the last 5 years have gone by, newer (not always better)applications have been written and rolled out. Over the last 20 years, computers have grown by leaps and bounds. Just imagine if the cycling industry would have grown at the same pace as computers have. Here are some of the good and bad possibilities that we could have had by now.

1. Right in the middle of a long ride you would just crash.
2. Every year a company upgraded a model, you would have to learn how to pedal again.
3. Your disc brakes would randomly lock up, making your productive ride come to a screeching halt.
4. At some random point, your bike would stop working. As a result you would have to deflate your tires, then pump them back up. That would fix it for some reason.
5. Someone would make a bike that never got flats, always had a clean chain, and never had to be tuned up. However, only hippies would ride them.
6. You would have to squeeze the brakes, in order to start pedaling.
7. Once you stopped riding, a message would come up and ask you "Are you sure you want to stop riding your bike?"

Wanted

2007-11-18T23:48:00.000-06:00

I am interested in upgrading my time travel bike. If you have one for sale, please meet me at the Congo yesterday.

Belgium hardman competition

2007-11-17T18:54:00.000-06:00

Bob and I jumped out to an early lead in the Belgium Hardman Competition for the year. At departure it was about 33 with a real feel of 27. A slight wind at the start, but it picked up to about 10-15 up top on the ridge. Precipitation was mixed with snow and rain. Today was the 4th day it snowed this year and this was my 4th ride of the year in the snow. After the ride I actually had ice forming on my head tube. total ride time for me was 1hr 45 min. Many more of them to come.

Ridin' dirty

2007-11-15T18:32:00.000-06:00

I have ridden the mountain bike 3 times this last week. That is three more than the entire summer. I am not getting any better, but I have moved it up from my least favorite activity to just above playing Limbo. The best part of the ride was when it was 38 degrees and snowing.

I am now thinking about getting a 69'er. I plan on loading it up with SRAM XO.

Mental Drain

2007-11-13T08:09:00.000-06:00

Last year I completed the Silverman Triathlon which is known to be the toughest most grueling triathlon in North America, if not the world. This year they dumbed it down a bit and added a half ironman distance. I looked at the times and there were a lot of people rolling in at 7-8 hours or more. Checking in on the pro results. Macca had what looks like his slowest half ironman of his professional career.

Last night, and also on Friday night. I went on a night mountain bike ride with EPU and Jason. I can honestly say that trying to go fast in the dark on the trails at HPT was a lot harder and more of a drain than Silverman was. I thought I would never say something like that, but I have a new found respect for mountain biking. Now if I can just not suck so bad, it could be fun and a spank.

Rubber side down

Dirt is good

2007-11-11T20:21:00.000-06:00

Every year globally 1.3 million people move from the country to the city. There are many advantages of this migration:lower unemployment, higher GDP, lower birth rates, more education, better health care access, and it will lead to a leveling of population followed by a sharp decline. All that being said, I am glad we don't live in a country full of squatter cities.

I like my small city life, and I like even more my hometown of Shell Rock. Why? Because I like dirt. Go ahead and keep flocking to those concrete jungles.

Ride on...

2007-11-11T11:14:00.000-06:00

Get them before their gone. Be sure to note the fact that they are lead free!

This Product is 100% LEAD FREE and its safe for kids.

Product Description:
They work like a slingshot and scream while flying. They are approximately 9" long and fly well over 50 feet. The harder you pull back, the further they will fly. Slingshot Frog flies with a loud ribbit croaking Sound!

The Slingshot Flying Frog is nothing short of outrageous! The Frog can be shot long distances using his arms. Put one finger in his elastic arms, pull back and let go. The soft, furry Frog is funny with its big body. As an added bonus, every time you shoot him, he lets out three loud croaks. We don't know why he does this, he just does. If your office needs some seriously funny props, you'll love the Slingshot Flying Frog.

Product Features:

* Flingshot Frog flies with a crooooaaaak! Just pull him back and let him fly! Flingshot Flying Frog Ages 4 & up
* The Slingshot Flying frog is nothing short of outrageous!
* The frog can be shot long distances using his elastic arms.
* Put one or two fingers in the hand pockets, pull back and let go.
* As an added bonus, every time you shoot him, he let's out three loud croaks.

Cookies my Ass

2007-11-08T19:23:00.001-06:00

It is Girl Scout Cookie season once again. They are out at WalMart, walking the streets, and their stupid mothers are passing out order forms throughout their work places. Every year I get approached to buy some cookies, and every year I decline.

The Girl Scouts is an organization that has survived through the years not by teaching its young members to stand for what they believe, but rather to give into cultural pressures that strike out against them.

In 1972 they dropped "loyalty" from their promise, and replaced it with "I will do my best to be honest and fair." WTF is that. Do your best to be honest and fair? Forget being loyal to your word, your self, or your "sisters" go ahead and make the wrong decision.

The Girl Scouts made "God" optional back in 1993. They decided that while reciting the Girl Scout Promise: "On my honor, I will try: To serve God and my country, to help people at all times and to live by the Girl Scout Law." Good thing they did that. They wouldn't want to include the morals and beliefs that the organization was founded upon.

What is it they call a person who willingly uses his or her talent or ability in an unworthy way, usually for money? Think about that next time you see one of Kathy Cloninger's cute little neighbor girls walking the streets soliciting you for money in exchange for something that will just make you fat.

When to buy

2007-11-06T19:18:00.000-06:00

I have to routes I can go. I could purchase it now and go the instant gratification route, or I could pick one up next month and have some delayed gratification. Is it better to go with delayed to help eliminate the possibility of buyer's remorse? Or is it best to just be serious about this and step up?

The Sunday Campaign

2007-11-04T09:28:00.000-06:00

Our country has many enemies. Today, our country must confront yet another face of evil. My fellow Americans, our country is at a pivotal time in its history. The forces of evil are waging war against the forces of good. Because of this, I have deployed our league's most elite group of Patriots to remove this new threat to our nations youth. The Colts must be must be stopped for many reasons, but the most important reason, is for the future of our children.

1. A colt of course is a gun. And as we know, guns kill people. Actually guns kill cute little kids. If you cheer for the Colts you are cheering for more guns to kill kids. Do you want little kids to be killed?

2. How about Colt 45? Malt liquor. Liquor causes people to drive drunk. Driving drunk kills little babies. Do you really want to kill little babies?

3. Colt studio group. Producers of gay pornography. Gayness is an abomination. If you are gay, your going to hell. Do you want your kids to go to hell?

4. Cranes. Juvenile cranes are called colts. Cranes are large, long-legged and long-necked birds. My father used to call them rope shitters. If your out on the river and a crane is flying over head, watch out. They poo like no other animal. When they let go, a long rope of shit comes from the sky and lands on your kids. Do you want your kids to be shit on?

5. A colt is a young horse. A group of colts are is called a rag. A rag is a worthless piece of cloth or clothing. Who wears rags? Sluts wear rags, and I don't want your kids to be supporting sluts. Sluts are for EPU.

I am Monkeytron, and I want to be your president.

In my future?

2007-11-03T20:03:00.000-06:00

I just hope the person to be found is a woman, otherwise I am going to be dissapointed.

Under Promise---Over Deliver

2007-11-02T17:20:00.000-06:00

It's not the other way around. There are those who are about one wrong answer from me being ready to say "Fuck those fuckers"

Don Ames

2007-10-29T20:44:00.000-06:00

With a grin on his face, Donnie would ofter come around a corner, rubber band in hand, and then whisper to me "I'm gonna shoot me a freak!" He then would go where ever EPU was at, and shoot him.

I could share many stories of the laughs Donnie provided me with, but I will just give you my favorite. Everyday at 6:00 when he left work he would come up to me and say "It's six o clock....so fuck ya". I don't know why that always brought a grin to my face, but he knew it did, so he always made it a point to do so.

You will be missed. Ride In Peace

Catalog

2007-10-27T20:08:00.000-06:00

HM Gear Dealer Catalog is being designed. Pages to be released soon.

Fire

2007-10-25T20:27:00.000-06:00

Arguably the most important advancement of humankind was the discovery of how to make fire. Man and Fire had a great relationship, and it went well for many centuries. Fire provided man with the ability to fend of wild animals, cook food, and for the first time let him control light and warmth. In return, Man provided Fire with Wood burn.

As time passed, there were some rough spots in what appeared to be a solid long term relationship. Fire started to suspect that Man was cheating on it. It started of when Man introduced Fire to Electricity. Soon, it was "And then Electricity lit up a light bulb!" , "Electricity can cook my food!", and "Electricity can do this, Electricity can do that." It was non stop talk about Electricity, and Fire was getting left out.

Man had a hunch that Fire was catching on so he introduced Fire to Coal. Fire and Coal got along great. They would spend hours upon hours burning with each other. Fire was in love with Coal. Coal had much more staying power than what Wood did, and Fire was all about staying power. But soon, Fire caught onto what Man was doing. He was using this new Fire/Coal relationship, to make more Electricity. Fire was super upset and the feud was on.

Fire then went back to Wood. However, Man would put out Fire as soon as it would start combusting. Even if Fire started in the middle of no where in a remote wooded area, Man would cut down Wood, and dump Water on Fire to stop them from being together.

Man then started a huge PR campaign against Fire. Man would tell its offspring to not play with Fire because it was dangerous. Fire had to then go underground. He started to hide in matches and lighters. Man soon caught on, and then prohibited the sale of matches and lighters to its young. Most recently, man wouldn't even let it to go onto airplanes.

Man has historically abused, cheated, and oppressed Fire. Can't burn during the summer, can't fly on a plane, can't play with kids, can't vote, and can't even get a job.

Well, Fire is fed up with it and is fighting back. Fire has started All out War on Man, specifically all the tree hugging hippie wacko's out in California. Man has brought in its best fire fighters, water hauling airplanes, and even tried to turn Fire against itself by setting other Fires to kill of all the Wood out there so Fire will have to give up.

Too bad for Man that Fire and Wood have joined forces with Wind to tear shit up. Wind doesn't much care for Man either. They got along fine for a long time, until Wind caught on that those play grounds that Man made for Wind were actually Windmills. Mans way of enslaving Wind to make...Electricity!!

Hippies beware, Fire is pissed and he is bringing his friends.

Warranty

2007-10-20T17:08:00.000-06:00

We have written our warranty policy for HM Gear. Here it is:

All HM Gear products are designed to allow the original owner to be "Happy" no matter the activity and are fully warranted against defects in materials and workmanship. If a product fails to be Happy due to material defect or manufacturing, even after extend use, we will replace, repair, or restore the original function without charge, at our option. This warranty does not include product failures resulting from accidents, misuse, improper care, or normal wear. Our products have been designed and manufactured with the intent that the wearer Be Active, Be Happy in their activity choices.

Thursday news

2007-10-18T16:29:00.000-06:00

Or perhaps lack there of.

Training: Pretty much not happening. Its been raining for the last couple of days. Before that temps were in the 50's, and I can't seem to train when mother nature rolls like that. Once it stops raining and the temps get down to the 40's I will be set.

Hip: Another reason why my training is lacking is my hip/ass. It pretty much hurts after standing/walking around for any length of time. Going to have J check it out sometime in depth. So, I will not be partaking in Silverman. Not going risk further injury, and will just continue to ride until it I figure out what the deal is.

Team Happy Mutant: The team is oficialy forming. A group of 5 mutants got together last week. Jerseys are being designed and roster is forming.

HM Gear: The clothing line is coming along good. I met with Ritchey Bob last night and he gave me some great input. You can always check out some news here on the clothing.

Silverman: Decided not to do it. Sucks that I am out the $$, but it is the right thing to not do. Plus, I have come to my senses reverted back to my F*ck Ironman mindset again.

LA: Going to make another trip out to LA some weekend in November. Need to swim with the dolphins and meet with OG Mutant to work on HM Gear.

Zombies: Learn how to kill them here

The Hartman

2007-10-16T17:47:00.000-06:00

SS Tech Tee: The Hartman Tee

Our early training sessions took place in and around the Hartman Nature Preserve in Cedar Falls. Simple on the surface, but deeply structured, these sessions prepared us to compete with the best around. This top features UV protection, anti-odor protection, moisture wicking fabrics and a pair of reflective stripes for visibility. We offer this shirt in both Dark as Night and Whipped Cream.

The Dark as Night color is pictured below.

While the front of every piece has a tonal Happy on them, the back of all our clothes have the Happy Mutant logo in the Happy Green color.

HM Gear

2007-10-15T00:00:00.000-06:00

Just posted a picture of goodies over here

Leave me alone

2007-10-13T18:08:00.000-06:00

I have been getting about up to 5 calls a day from some 800#. Most times, I just ignore it and the don't leave a message. They called again today while I was at the shop and this time they left a message. I dialed my VM and, there was nothing there, just static. Just a bit ago, I got another call and was asked by an automated teller to enter my Credit Card number and SSN. WTF, sounds like bull shyt to me. I did some quick googling and found this:

HSBC Fraud department says this number is NOT connected to them. When you dial 800-395-2274, an automated voice says, "Card Services" and asks for your account information -- it is obviously an identity theft scam.

That's nice

Back in the day

2007-10-10T18:51:00.001-06:00

007 373 5963

Down + B + A and press Start

Those were the days

Home sweet home

2007-10-07T18:33:00.000-06:00

After 2 days sleeping on the couch being sick, Friday afternoon I headed down to Shell Rock and the Cedar Valley.

Friday night I was about 1 mile west of Shell Rock, 5 minutes from my parents house, and I ended up on the side of the road for about 90 minutes. As I was checking out the water tower just over the hill, I noticed an oncoming car abruptly passing another on the right. It gets on the gravel shoulder, and then the tail whips around. A couple fish tails later it crosses the center line into my lane and then rolls over on its roof into the ditch. I called 911 and ran up to the car. Smoke was rolling out of the car while helping the girl out of it. Somehow the girl wasn't hurt at all, and the car didn't blow up.

Saturday I rode the R3 over to Finchford. It was good to be riding again and even better to ride one of my old training routes. After the ride I took the latest samples of HM GEAR over to Slade's. We talked about the clothes and what is in store with CVA. After chillin' for a while, we headed over to visit with Scott and Sarah at the Runner's Flat. Later that night I went and chatted with cyclo cross's future star Carlos da Jackal.

Sunday, I went for a two hour ride, then hung out with the Grandparents. On the way home, I swung by the shop and showed EPU the wares.

I will get pictures up by Tuesday of the full clothing line. So far feedback has been way super positive. The line is complete, versatile, smooth, clean, and functional. World domination is only a few months away.

Fat and lazy

2007-10-04T17:48:00.000-06:00

I haven't rode a bike in 10 days. No running in 7 days. Got a head cold yesterday so 20 of the last 24 hours I have been in bed with a constant flow of snot coming form my nose. The good news is that I am feeling better and plan on riding Saturday morning.

I plan on going down to Iowa tomorrow after I pick up the show samples of HM Gear. Will be good to ride around the old stompin' grounds

Jennifer

2007-10-03T22:19:00.000-06:00

future Mrs. Chad Juel

Foosball Worlds

2007-10-01T20:05:00.000-06:00

While Interbike was my top priority for Vegas last week, others were busy playing Foosball. They had a World Championship series event held right at my hotel. I stepped into the room to see over 100 tables set up and tons of people playing some table soccer. I don't play foosball, but if there is $100K up for grabs, I may have to think about it. RPS one week, Foosball the next

Why?

2007-09-29T23:16:00.000-06:00

I just put up an observation from Interbike on HM Gear. Since HM Gear is not about to start sending out endorsements for other companies at this time. Monkeytron sure will.

I use Elete during every ride I go on. I swear by their product and recommend it to everyone. I talked to Motor Tabs and ZYM who both are competitors of Elete. I flat out told both of them that I use Elete personally and sell it at our shop. Neither of them attempted to tell me why I should stop using Elete and use their product. You can tell me all day that your product does this or that, but if you don't tell me why its better than what I am using, I am not buying.

The only company that asked me who I was currently selling at the shop and then explained why their product was better was Spinning.

Random Interbike goodies

2007-09-29T10:03:00.000-06:00

Here is my future AR light. 300 grams with 4 hours of run time.

New bars for the R3. Ritchey was able to get these bars down to 190grams.

Schwinn going old school with a 2speed kickback

Profile came up with this sweet 2 chambered bottle. Elete in one, HEED in the other.

$17,000 BMC TT bike

Calfree's spiderweb bike. Pointless, but yet blog worthy

New base for Hed bars. I will be getting one

Stick a fork in me

2007-09-28T12:04:00.001-06:00

I am done. Calling Interbike a done deal for this year. Off to LA I go.

Will leave a little Ducati goodness for da Jackal

Interbike --Meeting people

2007-09-27T16:44:00.000-06:00

So far have met up with the following people and will be a link whore because of it:
Mr. 24 and the Ergon Crew
G-Ted
Emily
Russel Zord and the Dodds from Europa
Rhoda from 3D
Anne Hed
Scott from Olympic
Pat from Saris
Dani from Descent
Bob
Paul and Karen from Team Sole
and Paul's bad ass son Jordan
And yes Niki is even hotter in person

There are others, but tired of all the linking. Tonight we are going to the crits and to check out Chuck's ass.

Interbike Day 1

2007-09-26T21:45:00.000-06:00

Woke up around 3:00 today to start Interbike 07. Dirty and Jen picked me up around 4:00 and we headed to the airport. The flight from MSP left 30 minutes late so that kind of sucked, but other than that it all was good.

When we checked into the hotel this is what we had:

I called the front desk and explained that housekeeping had not cleaned the room yet. They said to come down and they would give me keys for another room. The new room is a lot bigger and was clean so all is good and I am happy.

Now a run down of the show so far:

1. Ate lunch with Ritchey Bob.
2. Checked out new products from Rudy Project
3. Got the run down on wet suits from Profile (nothing special--wasn't impressed)
4. Ritchey and Syncros have some cool stuff out.
5. Spent a lot of time talking to Skins. I got a pair of these for free.
6. GU has a Chocolate Mint flavor coming out
7. Durace crank has gone carbon and looks sexy
8. Was introduced to Knog
9. Checked out a $17,000 time trail bike from BMC
10. Ritchey has a mountain version of thier break away

There are lots more, but I am tired. Will post some pics in the morning.

Halo 3

2007-09-24T15:52:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow will be a good day

The week ahead

2007-09-23T19:44:00.000-06:00

Monday: Work, run, swim
Tuesday: Work, Tuesday night smackdown, pack
Wednesday: Off to Vegas for Interbike
Thursday: Continue to look at bike porn
Friday: Who knows, Vegas or LA
Saturday: see Friday
Sunday: come back to LAX

Urban Adventure

2007-09-21T21:43:00.000-06:00

After a multi-year hiatus and many calls by racers for its return, Urban Adventure Racing, LLC (UAR) is excited to officially announce the 2008 Wild Onion Urban Adventure Race to be held in the city of Chengdu, China as the WO-Game!

As producers of the original urban adventure race, UAR has been diligently working for several years with its television partner—Intersport Inc, and our Chinese partners—WO-Game Sports Marketing Inc. to take the event to yet a higher level. With this as our vision, the result is the first ever Urban Adventure Racing World Championships taking place on April 19, 2008 in the thriving metropolis of Chengdu!

“The elements necessary for a World Championship race include a world-class city, world-class athletes, network television coverage (NBC Sports) and a race course and prize purse to both severely challenge, yet handsomely reward the teams courageous enough to compete,” notes race organizer Will Burkhart.

The course will be at least 120-miles long and include paddling, cycling, running, stair climbing, in-line skating, scootering, navigation /orienteering and rope elements. To ensure that racers don’t go home empty handed, the prize purse will be at least $50,000 cash and additional awards. The format will be unsupported co-ed teams of three athletes.

Ransom

2007-09-20T21:17:00.000-06:00

Random goodness

2007-09-18T20:25:00.001-06:00

1. The shop got a call from Skins today. They will are going to hook me up with some free product. I have a hookup through 2XU and I am familiar with compression clothing and its benefits, but I have not actually used any. I am super stoked to be getting some Skins fo' free. Product should be here soon and I can't wait to start using it, especially since the training is being ramped up. A boost to the recovery program will be great.

2. Sufferfest tonight was just that. Lots of horsepower at the ride tonight. By far, the hardest ride I have been on. I was working my ass off just to hang on. I did pull up front a couple times up front before I got dropped on the way out of town. I climbed the main climb well. On the way back I got in a solid pull up front that lead out Chris to be able to bridge the gap and take the sprint. On the way back on B, my idol Ritchey Bob was off the front with AJ. I had the most solid, fast, long, and painful pull up front ever to start the chase. I pretty much went until I blew up and then rode the last couple miles alone back into town.

3.One week until I leave for Interbike. No booth like I wanted, but still will be there checking out all the new bike porn the industry has to offer. We will get most of our salesman samples while out there so that will be good.

4. I am watching LA Ink, and Kat is so very super sexy. Yummy

5. The trianing is going well. Running is past the soreness stage, so I will ever so gradually increase the run time. Swimming is just starting, and while the first night was good. Swimming sucks ass. Biking is still going strong and i can't wait to tackle the course.

6. I beat Stranglehold last night on the normal setting. I just started over again on the hard setting and that is what I am going to do now.

CYA

Rock Fish returns

2007-09-17T19:55:00.000-06:00

Since I am doing Silverman in less than 2 months, I decided I better start swimming. I only swam about 30 minutes, but it was a good 30 minutes. I have the same issues with my stroke as I always have had so that was good news (nothing new sucks). Stroke count average was 19-20, which is a good starting point. Goal is to get 15 swim sessions in before the race. I am thinking I will only get in 12, but we will see.

Updates on HM Gear posted here

Iowa representing

2007-09-15T23:40:00.000-06:00

Way to go Jason.

Mission Failed

2007-09-13T18:36:00.000-06:00

I am at a point in Stranglehold that is really kicking my ass. The game just said to me "Would you like to retry on an easier difficulty level?" I think the game just told me that I suck.

Why can't women be more like that. You get shot down by a chick, and then she asks you "Would you like to retry on an easier difficulty level?" Not saying that she needs to turn into a dirty little slut, unless its for EPU or Steve

2007-09-11T21:35:00.000-06:00

Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

And playing Stranglehold is not having me get a couple of handguns and shooting everyone....yet.

WWED?

2007-09-09T19:32:00.001-06:00

The 10x100 went super good. I rode very well, and felt strong the entire time. No bonking, was up towards the front on the climbs, and even managed to set the pace up front every once in a while. Total ride was about 116 miles with estimated 13,000 feet of climbing. I joked a bit about going for a run afterwards, but instead I just put my recovery plan into motion. Today I felt super good. Legs felt like they do after any hard ride. No IT band issue, knees feel good, no soreness, just a skosh tired.

Today, I opted not to go to Madison to watch the Ironman race. Instead I spent some quality time cleaning R3. It was dirty going into the ride, and was filthy coming out of it. The bike is clean, but not all together. I lost the bolt that hold the lower der. pulley. I looked all over for it, and it is gone. One of shop knomes must have taken it from me. At least my underpants are safe now.

Out of frustration I said Eff it and went home, ate a pizza, took a three hour nap, and then ate a huge malted milk shake. While eating the shake I thought to myself WWED (what would Epu Do?)

EPU would say to me "Juels you serious about this or what?" I decided that I was not being serious and need to be. So I did what anyone having that conversation with themselves would do. I signed up for the world's most grueling Ironman distance triathlon. That means I have 62 days to get into tri form. That should be plenty of time to drop 10 lbs, start running (I have run once since June 23), and start swimming (been since last years Silverman)

Weekend

2007-09-08T05:43:00.000-06:00

It was a tough week at work. This morning I am just about out the door for a 113 mile ride today. Weather looks perfect for a long day in the saddle. Tonight going to take the 360 over to EPU's and play some vids. Tomorrow, I am either going to take care of stuff around the house, or head to Madison and watch Ironman Wisconsin.

Have a great weekend

Best video game ever

2007-09-07T05:00:00.000-06:00

Picked up Stranglehold the other night. Initially I thought it kicked ass, but I figured I better play it a couple of times before I make such a statement. Well, after 3 nights of being up way too late shooting everyone in sight, and blowing tons of shit up, I can say this is the most enjoyable shooter game ever. Take Gears of War, mix it with Rainbow Six, and twist it with some Hong Kong Cinema action style and you have Stranglehold.

Run around kill people, run some more and blow stuff up, blow stuff up to kill more people. Yep the game kicks ass.

Stranglehold - E3 2007 Trailer - The most popular videos are here

10x100

2007-09-05T23:05:00.000-06:00

Time to get the climbing legs ready. 10x100 coming up this Saturday. 114 miles with 13,000 feet of climbing. Many climbs being over 15%. Its going to hurt sooo good.

You hate your job?

2007-09-04T22:45:00.000-06:00

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this....

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock you doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in you favorite chair, open the package and remove the thermometer.

Then, carefully place it on a table or a flat surface, so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins- Take ou the literature and read it carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement.
"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"

Finally, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times.

"I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."